Underwhelmed

Listening to: Sun Kil Moon (Ghosts of the Great Highway)The King of Mope had a 5-night gig at Hammerstein this week, and I caught his Friday night show. I would have wet myself with anticipation of this event maybe 20 years ago, and was hoping I'd recapture some of my collegiate goth angst, but I gotta say... I plumbed the depths and couldn't come up with enough inner turmoil and self-loathing to make me enjoy this show. I managed a short spurt of annoyance (who is this guy in front of me actually acting out the songs?!) and a couple minutes of resentment (I paid how much for this?) and even some slight self-pity (My back hurt from trying to contort my line of vision around the hulking mass of the Oi Oi Oi footballer in front of me), but Tortured Sadness eluded me.I was miserable, sure, which should have made me putty in Morrissey's hands. Wasn't feeling it, though. He only did three Smiths songs (none of which was Hand in Glove or This Charming Man, the bastard), and the other stuff was OK but nothing outstanding. Instead of channeling this misery and throwing myself into the spirit of the music, I checked the train schedule and then the time, and burrowed my way past all the 30-something Post-Goths and the studiously hang-dog Misunderstood Youths, heading for the exit. Just as I'm about to feel the outside air I hear the opening chords of How Soon Is Now. He lured me back in, but only for about 2 minutes. I've reached the point in my life where I'd rather make the 10:39 train then listen to Morrissey moan about his sucky life (which we all know, he's a fucking millionaire and does all this tongue-in-cheek anyway, fully admitting he has a great, fulfilled life), even when he's doing it to pretty much the best hook ever composed.I headed back out as he whined "...and you go home and you cry and you want to die" (yea, I know how you feel, dude) and realized a song that used to touch me on a deep level now resulted in an overall feeling of irritated ennui. So, a big ole Thank You to Morrissey for helping me see how happy I am. I'm finally in on the joke.